


our red crayons bright with love

by alovething



Series: reinventing love [4]
Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-28 20:51:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alovething/pseuds/alovething
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This thing between them goes back even further than they thought. Maybe it’s always been there, and they just needed a nudge in the right direction. (Jared and Jensen as little kids!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	our red crayons bright with love

“Becca Nathanson,” Jeff says proudly, taking a swig from the communal tequila bottle. “Thirteen.” 

“Brianna Taylor,” Josh counters, snatching the bottle from Jeff’s hand and taking a drink. “ _Twelve_.”

The thing about summer is that there isn’t much to break up the monotony. That’s how they find themselves sitting in a lazy circle in Chris and Steve’s backyard under the full moon, basking in the balmy night air as they pass around a bottle of lukewarm tequila and swap first kiss stats. 

“Lily Jacobs,” Jared adds, taking the bottle when Josh hands it to him. “Thirteen.” 

Jensen remembers that. Jared had been so excited when Lily let him kiss her at the seventh grade dance. He remembers thinking Lily was stuck up and lame. God, he was so blind. 

“Uh, Tracy Dessen,” Jensen says, taking the bottle from Jared’s fingers and wrinkling his nose. “Fifteen. First and last time I ever kissed a girl. Ugh.” 

“ _False_!” Josh shouts as Jeff makes a loud, obnoxious buzzing sound. “Utter lies!” 

“Untruths, you say?” Chris shouts, and Jared and Jensen share a look. “Tell us more of these falsehoods!”

“Y’all are cut off,” Chad slurs, leaning forward to take the tequila from Jensen. He pulls the bottle back at the last minute and Chad goes crashing face first into the grass. He groans and sinks his fingers into the soft earth. “Rachel Ferguson. Eleven, bitches. For the motherfucking _win_.”

“Chad, no one gives a shit about your raggedy ass first kiss,” Steve says, shushing him. “Josh and Jeff were just about to correct a few historical inaccuracies about our favorite little queer kids.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jared asks, slinging an arm around Jensen’s shoulders. 

“And why are you using all these big ass words?” Jensen asks, unconsciously placing his hand over Jared’s heart. Josh and Jeff’s expressions clear up a little and they look over at them.

“Wait,” Jeff says. “You guys seriously don’t remember your first kiss?” 

“Yes,” Jared replies slowly. “It was with Lily in the gym and I’m pretty sure _Hey Ya_ by Outkast was playing. I remember that song. I mostly remember hating it. The song, not the kiss. Although the kiss was sort of awkward and –”

“We’re not talking about the first kiss that made you feel funny in the tummy,” Josh cuts in, giving them a look. 

“It didn’t make _me_ feel funny anywhere,” Jensen grumbles, and Jared laughs against his temple. 

“We get it, Jensen! You’re gay and you always have been, damn,” Jeff replies, rolling his eyes. “We’re talking about your first kiss _ever_.” 

When Jared and Jensen just stare at them blankly, Jeff rolls his eyes and shares a look with Josh. 

“It was with _each other_ , you idiots,” Josh tells them, and Jared and Jensen blink. 

“No way,” Jared replies, arm tightening around Jensen’s shoulders. “I mean, I wish it would have been, but – “ 

“It _was_ , homo,” Jeff says, and then sighs. “Okay kids, everybody gather round so Josh and I can tell you all a little story.” 

“We like to call it _How Jared and Jensen Have Been Gay For Each Other Since Birth_ ,” Josh says sagely. 

“Or _Homos Forever_ for short,” Jeff grins, and Jared and Jensen roll their eyes. “Okay, we’re gonna have to go all the way back to the nineties for this one, when the boys were just tiny baby homos.” 

Everybody watches Josh and Jeff with rapt fascination, and Jared’s hand finds Jensen’s and squeezes. 

There’s an inkling of something in the back of Jensen’s mind, and he listens as his big brother starts to talk.

##  **[1996]**

It’s Saturday and it’s sunny, _finally_ , and all Jared wants to do is go outside and play. But no, he has to finish his stupid Valentine’s Day cards first.

He sits at the barstool in the kitchen, tiny bare feet swinging back and forth as he rests his chin on his hand, elbow on the counter. He checks his class list again, making sure every single name is checked off. 

Jensen has a tiny checkmark next to his name and Jared crinkles his brow. Jensen shouldn’t get the same checkmark that stupid Lucy Greene gets. She smells. Jensen is his very best friend and he _never_ smells like cheese. Jensen is so much better than all these kids and he deserves more than a stupid lopsided checkmark on a first grade class list. 

“MOM!” He screams, because she told him he couldn’t leave this stupid stool until all his stupid cards were filled out and now they _are_ , shoved into the stupid cardboard box with the hearts all over it. “I’m done!” 

“Like _done_ done or I don’t want to do this anymore done?” His mom asks, coming around the corner carrying a laundry basket. Jared sort of wants to bury his face in it. He spins around on the stool and nearly falls off, grabbing the box and shaking it, listening to the _tap tap tap_ of twenty-three little white envelopes hitting the inside. 

“Done!” He yells again. “Can we go to Jensen’s now?”

“Wait a second,” his mom says, setting the basket on the kitchen table and picking something up. Jared shoves his hands under his butt and squirms. He wants off this stupid _stool_. His mom hands him a flower, a pretty red rose with tiny white flowers hugging it, all wrapped up in crinkly shiny plastic. He takes it in his little hand and sniffs it, sticking his sharp little nose into the petals. He sneezes. 

“What’s this for?” He asks, poking his palm with the sharp point of the plastic at the bottom. 

“It’s a rose,” his mom says, and _duh_ , he knows it’s a _rose_. He’s six, not _stupid_. “It’s an extra Valentine’s Day gift for you to give to someone special. Someone you really, really like.” 

“Oh,” Jared says, looking at the rose again. That’s easy. “I’ll give it to Jensen.” 

“No, that’s not – “ his mom replies, furrowing her brow and leaning down to look him in the eye. He hates when she does that. He’ll be tall someday and she won’t have to bend over all the time anymore. “The rose is for someone you _like_ , Jared. Someone in your class.” 

Jared doesn’t understand. 

“Jensen is in my class,” he responds, fingers tightening around the rose. “I like _Jensen_.” 

“Baby, there isn’t a _girl_ you like in your class?” Mom asks, and Jared makes a disgusted face. “What about Lucy?” 

“Mom, I already _told_ you,” Jared replies, exasperated. “She smells like _cheese_ and she’s _mean_ to me.” 

“Maybe she’s mean to you because she likes you,” Mom suggests, and Jared rolls his eyes and pushes his bangs out of his face. He peers up at her, hugging the rose to his chest. 

“That’s _stupid_ ,” he replies, jutting out his bottom lip. “Why would you be mean to someone you like? You know who isn’t mean? _Jensen_. You said to give the rose to someone I really, really like and I really, really like _him_. So if he can’t have it then I don’t even _want_ the stupid flower and you can take it _back_.” 

“Okay, okay!” Mom says, holding out her hands in surrender. Jared raises a tiny eyebrow as she laughs, staring at him fondly in a way he figures he’ll understand when he’s bigger. “You can give Jensen the rose.” 

“Now,” Jared replies, pushing his luck as he sniffs the flower again. “I wanna give it to him now.” 

“Right this minute?” Mom asks, but she’s smiling in a way that lets Jared know she’s going to say yes. He starts bouncing on the stool. 

“Right now,” Jared replies. “I wanna go now. Jeff is already over there. He got to spend the night. And now it’s sunny outside and it’s been raining all week and I wanna go now.”

“Okay, Jared,” she replies, ruffling his hair and turning to head for the front door. “Get your shoes and jacket on and I’ll get your sister.” 

“About that,” Jared says delicately, hopping off of the stool and landing on one foot, throwing his arms out to the side to balance himself. “When are you going to take Meggy back to the hospital?” 

“Never, Jared,” his mother says from the stairs, slow like she’s bored of the conversation. Jared grins. He doesn’t actually want Megan to leave. It’s just fun to tease. “She’s here forever.” 

“Then make her stop crying all the time!” Jared calls, dropping onto the floor to pull on his sneakers. The rose is lying on the floor next to him, and he glances at it. He pulls on his jacket, pushing his little hands through the ends of the sleeves and flexing his fingers. He picks up the rose and smells it again. 

He thinks Jensen will like it. 

\--

Mom knocks twice on the door to Jensen’s house and then walks in. Donna meets them in the living room and Jared immediately kicks off his shoes and shrugs out of his jacket. He tosses them aside, making himself at home without being told to. 

“Hey guys!” Donna greets them, and she coos a little over Megan in his mom’s arms. Jared rolls his eyes.

“Hey,” Mom says, shifting Megan to her other arm and leaning in close to Donna. “Jared has something for Jensen.” 

She raises her eyebrow, amused, and Jared isn’t even sure why. He’s even more confused when Donna gives her an exasperated eye roll, lips curving up into a grin as she shrugs. 

“Jensen has something for Jared, too,” Donna says, and Jared bounces on the balls of his feet. Donna turns to call over her shoulder. “Jensen!” 

“WHAT?” Jensen comes back with, voice filtering in from the family room. Jared assumes he is watching TV. He gets really into his shows. 

“Don’t you _what_ me like that!” Donna yells, and Jared giggles a little. “Jared is here!” 

“COMING!” Jensen yells, running into the room a few moments later, both hands hidden behind his back. He stumbles to a halt in front of Jared, and he looks up slightly to meet Jensen’s gaze. He’s a little bit taller than him, and Jensen claims it’s because he’s so much older. Four months is _not_ a long time. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Jared replies, studying Jensen for a moment. His freckles had seemed to cover his whole face in the summer, and now they are just sprinkled over the bridge of his nose. His hair is light, light gold and he has a bandage on his elbow that wasn’t there yesterday. Jared notices it right away. He’s always noticing things about Jensen. “Did you finish your cards?” 

“Yeah,” Jensen says, rocking up on the balls of his feet. “Stupid.” 

“That’s what I said!” Jared calls, glaring at his mom over his bony shoulder. He looks back at Jensen and then down at the flower in his hands, suddenly nervous and he has no idea why. He clears his throat and holds it out to Jensen, looking up at him through his lashes. “This is for you.”

  
art by ♥   


“Thanks,” Jensen says quietly, and he sounds like he really means it. He takes it with one hand and brings it to his nose to smell. He still has one hand hidden behind his back and Jared raises an eyebrow. “It smells good.”

“Yeah,” Jared agrees, trying to peer around Jensen. He sways his hips to block Jared’s view and Jared huffs. “Whassat? Is it for me?” 

“Maybe,” Jensen says slowly, and he takes a step back when Jared takes one forward. 

“Gimme!” Jared yells, and Jensen spins around, somehow bringing whatever he’s holding around to the front without Jared seeing it like some kind of _ninja_. Jensen laughs loudly and takes off running, dropping his flower on the floor. Jared growls as he sprints after him. “Jensen!” 

“You have to catch me!” Jensen shouts, squealing with laughter. Jared chases him through the family room and through the dining room and kitchen, looping back around past the stairs and back into the living room. Josh and Jeff are on the stairs and Josh has a plastic army helmet on his head. 

“What are we yelling about?!” Josh shouts, and he and Jeff let out a scream just because. Jared giggles and Jensen lets out a loud, delighted squeal. It’s sort of Jared’s favorite sound. 

Jared finally catches up with him right as he’s about to turn into the family room again, tackling him to the floor and landing on top of him. His mom lets out a _tsk_ but doesn’t stop him, and he digs his sharp chin into the space between Jensen’s shoulder blades. 

“Now you’re crushin’ it, jerk!” Jensen laughs, sounding out of breath and happy. Jared pushes himself up on his hands and rolls back to sit on his haunches. Jensen rolls over onto his back, clutching a tiny teddy bear in his hands. It’s nearly the color of Jensen’s hair and it’s wearing a bright red tee shirt that says _I wuv you beary much!_. Jensen’s cheeks flush pink and he thrusts it out at Jared. “Um, here.” 

Everything is suddenly so quiet. 

Jared leans in and props himself up on one hand over Jensen, taking the bear and bringing it to his face. It’s a stupid little teddy bear, and if anyone else gave it to him he’d probably think it was the lamest present ever. But Jensen gave it to him, and it’s awesome. 

Everything Jensen does is awesome. 

“Thanks!” Jared says, and looks down to see Jensen’s face so close to his. Without really thinking about it he leans in and pecks Jensen on the lips. Jensen’s eyes are wide and bright green and Jared’s eyes cross as he tries to watch him. The freckles on the bridge of his nose blur and their lips are still pressed together. Jensen makes a little noise and presses his lips out against Jared’s. It’s a kiss, and they’ve never done that before. 

Jared pulls away with a giggle and gets to his feet, tucking his bear in the crook of his arm before reaching out to help Jensen up. Jensen picks his flower up off of the floor and smells it again, eyes fluttering closed. 

When they look up everyone is frozen to their spot, staring at them. Jared and Jensen look at each other and then back at their moms.

“Did you guys just _kiss_?” Jeff shrieks, leaning over the banister. “Gross!” 

“If you _ever_ kiss me,” Josh says, poking Jeff in the arm with a bony finger, “we’re not friends anymore.”

“What’s wrong?” Jared asks quietly, clutching his bear tighter. “Why’s that bad?” 

“It’s – it’s not bad, honey,” Sherri says, sharing a look with Donna. “It’s good that you two love each other so much.” 

“I love Jeff but I’m not gonna kiss him!” Josh yells, and Jeff pushes him. 

“You love me?” Jeff shrieks. “That’s nasty!” 

“Boys!” Donna calls out. “Please go play.” 

Josh and Jeff don’t need to be told twice. They disappear up the stairs and Josh’s door slams shut with a bang. Jared has his lips pursed out. He’s not sure why this is such a big deal. He kisses his mom and his dad and his grandma and his aunt. He kisses people he loves. 

Why can’t he kiss Jensen? 

“It’s fine, boys,” Donna says, kneeling down in front of them. “Wanna go watch some TV? I’ll make you grilled cheese.” 

“Okay!” Jensen shouts, tugging on Jared’s sleeve. “C’mon, Jared. _Little Mermaid_ is on!” 

Donna pinches the bridge of her nose and Mom buries a laugh in her palm. Jared doesn’t get the joke. 

Jared turns away from Mom and Donna and follows Jensen into the family room. They climb up onto the sofa, sitting so close there is barely enough room between them for the teddy bear. 

It starts raining again, and Jensen falls asleep with his head on Jared’s shoulder.

##  **[2008]**

“And it was then that Jeff and I knew it was up to us to carry on the family names,” Josh finishes, and Jeff nods solemnly. “Because after that moment, everyone knew that Jared and Jensen wouldn’t be making any babies.”

“Quit acting like a fucking shaman,” Chad slurs, snatching the tequila from Jensen’s lax fingers. “Like you’re wise and shit. Jared and Jensen have always been gay for each other. You know what else? The sky is fucking _blue_ , dude!”

“Will you shut your mouth?” Chris says, shoving at Chad’s shoulder before looking over at Jared and Jensen. “So you two really are like, _meant to be_ and shit.” 

“That’s what we’ve been _telling_ you,” Jeff cries. “We _all_ were just waiting for it. When Jared first told us he had a girlfriend everyone was like, wait _what_?” 

“I think I remember that,” Jensen says quietly, brows furrowed as he tucks himself in closer to Jared. He remembers arguing with his mom over who to give the teddy bear to. Jared had been the only logical choice – the only person he could think of. And it’s hazy, but he thinks he remembers the feeling of dry, small lips slanting over his. 

Maybe he’s just imagining it because he wants to remember so badly. 

“Dude, I think I still have that teddy bear,” Jared exclaims, pressing his lips to Jensen’s temple as he speaks. “No fucking joke, I think it’s in my closet.” 

“Really?” Jensen asks. He’s all flushed from the alcohol and he’s sort of overcome with emotion. Jared was his _first kiss_. 

“Yes,” Jared says, fingers slipping under the back of Jensen’s tee shirt to stroke up and down his spine. “But you didn’t keep my flower.” 

“Aw,” Jensen chuckles. “I would have, but I just wasn’t gay enough to learn how to press flowers yet.” 

“ _Yet_? You know how to press flowers?” Chad asks, staring at Jensen with disgust. “Why am I friends with you?” 

“ _Anyway_ ,” Josh cuts in. “Why the hell do you think absolutely _no one_ was surprised when you guys hooked up? Like, even less surprised than when Jensen came out of the closet.” 

“Fuck you!” Jensen cries. 

“You watched _Powerpuff Girls_ , Jensen, okay?” Josh yells back. “You came out of the womb doing fuckin’ jazz hands. There was no hope for you. _No hope_.” 

Jensen huffs a sigh and Jared laughs against his cheek. Jared slides his fingers high up Jensen’s back, slip-sliding over the curves of his shoulder blades. 

“If all you guys knew from jump street we were supposed to get together,” Jared starts, and he actually sounds sort upset, “why didn’t you tell _me_?” 

“Because,” Jeff replies, expression going soft. “You like, thought you were straight. Which, visions of grandeur, yes. But you still thought it. If we came up to you like ‘hey Jared, you and Jensen should really hook up.’ you would have thought we were fucking psycho.” 

“You had to figure it out for yourselves, dude,” Josh adds, leaning over to punch Jared playfully on the shoulder. “And look at that, you did. You’re happy and adorable and rainbows shine out of your asses.” 

“Our gorgeous, well fucked asses,” Jared says, tipping Jensen’s chin up to kiss him deeply while everyone else lets out a loud chorus of groans. 

The conversation moves on then, but Jared and Jensen only have eyes for each other. A soft breeze ruffles Jared’s shaggy hair and Jensen tucks a strand behind his ear. Jared leans in, bumping their foreheads together and pressing a kiss to the tip of Jensen’s freckled nose. 

“I’m so glad it was you,” Jared whispers, lips warm and dry against Jensen’s ear. Jensen shivers, lips ghosting across Jared’s jaw. 

“Me too.” And then Jared presses their lips together again, soft and sure as that very first time twelve years earlier. 

It’s perfect. 

[ _end_.]


End file.
